Wednesday 12 April 2017

2017 Goals and Promises

Drafted in January/February, posted on 12/04/2017

I'm not a 'resolutions' kind of girl. I've never taken them seriously and to be honest, I've never placed any emphasis on new year in general. For me, new years day has always been something of great insignificance, just any other day.

This year, things are different. Its no secret that 2016 wasn't a great year for me. In fact, I'd go as far to say that its probably the worst year I've experienced in all my 25. I lost my nan, I lost an extremely lengthy relationship and with both of those experiences, I lost a great deal of myself. For those reasons, I'm determined to make this year different, to make it count and to cancel out all of the bad from the previous year. 

This year, I want to make memories. I want to make new memories and I want to reclaim old memories that have been tainted or lost their sentiment. Therefore I haven't made resolutions as such, but instead just some goals and promises to myself to ensure that this year is for me and that this year will be one to remember and not purposely forgot.

Travel more
The first promise I want to make is that I will travel more. Anyone who knows me, knows that I never ever go anywhere. I genuinely barely leave Yorkshire and I really want this to alter. I wanna see things, I love the idea of city breaks and exploring new surroundings but have never felt like I've been in a position to do it. This year, I want to go places. Amsterdam & Budapest are two that spring to mind after chats with friends and hopefully will be booked very soon!

Learn to drive
This is both a want and a necessity. Its something I've put off for a while because a) I'm terrified and b) I've never really needed to. But this year seems like the time to get on it. My public transport pass expires in October, meaning the cost of commuting to work will increase tenfold, to the point where it may not even be worth it. So this year, driving is somewhat essential and with my 18 year old sister soon to pass, it seems that in this area, I'm actually the underachiever of the family for once. Plus, I can't wait to overcome my anxieties and have the freedom to travel endlessly, with my favourite tunes, my favourite people or just be at one with my own company on the road.

Learn to enjoy my own company again
I get how ridiculous this might sound. But I spent a lot of last year, desperate and longing to hang out with people all of the time. This was purely down to the fact that I had a lot going on and knew that if I was alone, I would dwell and overthink and turn myself into a quivering wreck. For ages, I'd do anything to prevent being alone. I'd call on friends constantly, spend a little too much time with family, to the point where I was in the way or overstaying my welcome. Slowly but surely, this is changing and I now, once again, revel in the opportunity to spend weekends alone, catching up on work, getting engrossed in hobbies or simply having 'me time'. I want this to continue throughout the year, because I think its super important to enjoy your own company and not rely too much on other people to fill your time.

Read more
I love reading, but I literally never do it. Much like blogging!
In my young adult life, I really haven't read that many books, although the ones I have read, I've loved. The last book I read was Yes Please by Amy Poehler and I loved it - it made me laugh, I could relate and I was genuinely addicted to reading it. However since then, a lot has happened and the reading bug lost its momentum. Low and behold though, I got a number of books around Christmas and I'd love to regain that love for reading this year. I'm starting with a book a friend got me called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck by Mark Manson and then I have a few by Caitlan Moran and Lena Dunham to get my teeth into, so here goes!

Start a vinyl collection
Another old school pastime that I want in on! I have toyed with the idea of buying a record player for a while but have been putting it off as I don't have my own space just yet. I like the idea of a portable one for now and may purchase one in the near future because I just love the idea of a collection that expresses you, on show for everyone to see and something to pass down to family in the future. I love looking through my dad's records and tapping into another era and visualising what life might have been like then. Hopefully funds will allow me to start my own vinyl collection at some point this year.

Stop looking for re-assurance and trying to impress people
Probably a promise/goal that is easier to say than actually do. I'm a person with very little confidence in many areas and a lot of self-doubt. I prepare for things by worrying immensely and becoming riddled with anxiety and a lot of the time this isn't the worst thing in the world as it kind of doubles up as a coping mechanism. I figure that worrying about something immensely and then overcoming it, makes me feel a greater sense of achievement and whilst it seems like the worst panic-attack provoking experience ever at the time, afterwards, with perspective, it seems like the smallest, most ridiculous thing ever. A lot of the time, the worry and anxiety comes from not believing in myself or from trying too hard to impress or please others, rather than focusing on myself. This is probably routed in loads of experiences I've had and people I've encountered along the way. But I'd kind of like to reign this in a little as I should definitely be more selfish and less bothered by others but in a way, it also just shows that I care a hell of a lot. Maybe not a totally fulfill-able goal but something I can at least acknowledge and work on.

Fill the year with awesome experiences
As said previously, I want this year to be one to remember. I want to fill it with days out, gigs, nights out, achievements and celebrations. I want to look back on the year and think "Crikey, I did loads!" I want to make new memories and have new experiences and just do things for me. Things I like, with people I like and have plenty to look forward to.

So there we have it, my aims for this year... lets see how these pan out!
Feel free to share yours and your progress.

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