Tuesday 31 December 2013

Slowly creeping into 2014...

As its New Years Eve and I'm home alone with no plans (sad), I'm going to take this opportunity to do a little blog reflecting on the past year and looking forward into 2014.

To be honest, 2013 hasn't been significantly good or bad. It started out alright and has had its ups and downs but generally it hasn't been anything to write home about. I have had some awesome times in Huddersfield this year, and some extremely stressful ones too. From epic nights out, to chilled nights in, gigs with friends and gigs with my boyfriend, I have made some really great memories this year. But towards the end of the year, I have also been incredibly stressed and at times, a nightmare to deal with, due to the demanding workload and stresses of final year.

This is probably the most cliche thing I've ever said but I guess in some ways, 2013 has been a year of change. Both my boyfriend and one of my closest friends moved out of Huddersfield this year which was initially quite daunting and really hard for me to get used to. The thought of having these two no longer within arms reach was really hard to comprehend at first and I for one, did not like it! However, they didn't just get fed up of me, they actually both left to pursue their placement years and I am very proud of both of them. My boyfriend moved to Leeds at the beginning of the year which upset me a bit but he managed to get himself a cracking placement within the university, meaning I still get to see him a hell of a lot as he is always in and out of Huddersfield. He seems to be enjoying the placement overall and it has given him some great experience and opportunities which is fantastic and I am really happy for him. My friend, Hannah, moved back home for her placement year and has had two placements up to now, both of which have been extremely beneficial and the opportunities she has been given from both have been phenomenal and I am super proud of her and even though it absolutely sucks that she no longer lives with us and I cried my eyes out when she left, I am so happy that her placement year is proving to be so valuable and worth while.

Everyone around me seemed to be so focused and driven this year, that I, personally had a minor breakdown. For ages I found myself thinking "What the hell am I actually doing with my life?", and "Why aren't I as successful and switched on as everyone else?" Obviously I am still in university and working towards a degree but to be completely honest, I still don't have the foggiest idea what I want to do with my life after uni. There are so many people that I see in uni everyday that seem so mature, ambitious and focused and know exactly where they want to be in five years time. Whereas I still feel like a teenager and am no wiser as to what I want to do, than I was when I first started uni, which is a little worrying. I still have a huge passion for writing but that does not necessarily mean I want to be a journalist, as I just don't have any interest in nitty gritty and edgy stories, I much prefer light-hearted things. I also have no ambition to pursue a career in PR, like many other people in my degree area, as I don't have the self-confidence, charisma or ballsiness required to be a success in that area. I find it hard to put myself out there and talk to people I don't know or people I might be intimidated by, which causes me great problems in uni, as I am often expected to interview or approach random people. I experience a lot of anxiety when it comes to this sort of thing and tend to put things off, which I have found to be a huge setback this year, as it stops me from reaching my full potential with assignments. This is the main reason behind the lower parts of this year and because of this, I have decided to give myself some resolutions for 2014. Now I know that resolutions are there to be broken and I will no doubt forget about them, but I am going to give them a try anyway.

2014 is the year I (hopefully) will graduate from uni and although that is a massive achievement, it also leaves me feeling quite sad as it means I have to join the real world and stop living the student dream. I honestly believe that I will be on a huge downer after graduating because I have loved just about every minute of uni life. I have met the best friends in the world and I can't even cope over the Christmas holidays without them all, so god knows what I will be like when we all leave for good. They better get the Prozac ready cause I will definitely need them come July 2014! There has been talk of me potentially getting a flat with Jade, one of my uni friends, after we graduate but that involves a lot of saving up, so we will have to see what this year brings and hopefully we can make it happen, but if not, I hope we will all definitely still keep in touch.

Until then though, I am going to try my best to get through the next few months without too many stresses. To do this, I aim to:

- Take control with my assignments and don't let myself get so easily distracted
- Try my best to grab opportunities by the balls instead of being scared and anxious in certain situations (easier said than done!)
- Spend less and give myself a weekly budget (also easier said than done!)
- Stay out of other people's business
- Enjoy my last few months as a student

This post had a lot more feels than I initially anticipated but hey ho, I'm going with it! I hope everyone has a much more eventful New Years Eve than me, and I hope your resolutions stay in tact longer than mine probably will!

Happy new year!

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